11 Condom Mistakes It’s Time for Us All to Stop Making (If You Haven’t Already)
If you’ve ever had sex with a condom before, you probably know that they can be a little bit tricky.
There’s a reason people in steady, long-term monogamous relationships often opt for alternate forms of birth control when they feel like they don’t need to worry about sexually transmitted infections.
Condoms are a barrier prevention method that can dull sensation, and shifting the focus from a hot hookup to fighting over a little piece of latex to make sure it’s on right can kill the mood in a hurry — and that’s not just a purely psychological thing; many people have experienced the unpleasantness of an erection going away while its owner tries to get a condom on.
At the same time, modern condoms are a public health miracle — cheap, widely available, and capable of drastically cutting down on multiple undesirable sexual outcomes all at the same time.
Some of the issue seems to be that, like many other aspects of education, people are not well taught on how to use them. It’s ironic, because anyone will tell you that the importance of condoms is usually one of the few points that is genuinely hammered by every sex education course that exists (besides purely abstinence-focused ones, that is).
But there’s a difference between knowing that you should use something and knowing how to use it. Not least because when trying to put one on in the heat of the moment, muscle memory can be your best friend.
In order to help you have a smooth, problem-free condom experience next time you’re using one, AskMen spoke to a couple of sex experts about common condom mistakes to avoid. Here’s what they had to say:
- Wearing the Wrong Size Condom
Besides knowing that some condoms are ultra-large and making penis size jokes about it, many guys aren’t aware of condom size differences — which is a bad thing.
“Fit is one of the most important and most neglected aspects of condom use,” says Dr. Gareth Nye, a reproductive researcher at the University of Salford, on behalf of Condoms.UK. “Many people assume that all condoms are basically the same size, but that’s not the case. They vary in width, length and shape.”
“If a condom feels too tight, it’ll not only feel uncomfortable, but will increase the risk of tearing,” Nye explains. “If it’s too loose, it may slip off during sex, which defeats the purpose entirely. The right size affects how secure it feels, but also how pleasurable the experience is.”
Not sure which size to buy? You could grab a variety pack or a handful of free samples and try different options by yourself until you find a model you like. Or you could check out this helpful guide that Nye shared.
- Not Checking the Expiry Date
“One of the most common issues is people using condoms without checking the expiry date,” says Nye. “It’s often overlooked, especially if the condom’s been carried around in a wallet or left in a drawer for a long time.”
Most condoms have a fairly lengthy shelf life, but depending on how frequently you’re sexually active and how you came into possession of one, the next one you grab might be past its best-before date.
“The materials used to make condoms do degrade over time,” says Nye. “Exposure to heat, friction or pressure can cause tiny weaknesses that you wouldn’t necessarily see. That can make the condom much more likely to break during sex.”
“Even if the date hasn’t passed, the packaging itself matters,” he adds. “If the foil looks crumpled, faded or damaged, don’t use it. A condom that’s expired or compromised won’t offer the protection it’s designed to. It only takes a second to check, but it’s a really important habit to get into.”
Instead, Monica Lynne, LMHC, AASECT-certified sex therapist and a sex expert at the dating app Flirtini, says you should get into the habit of buying them a box at a time — that way, all the ones you have will be from the same batch and you’ll have a better sense of how old they are.
- Ripping It While Opening
“There’s a real tendency for people to open condom wrappers with their teeth, or in some cases with scissors or a set of long nails,” says Nye. “I understand the urgency, but this can easily damage the condom without you realizing. Even a small tear or nick is enough to stop it from working properly.”
“The same goes for jewellery — rings, bracelets, or watches can catch the edge as you’re opening the packet or putting the condom on,” he explains. “The best way to avoid this is to open the wrapper carefully by hand and take your time. It’s not just about being cautious. It’s about making sure the condom is fully intact and ready to do its job.”
Lynne notes you can push the condom down slightly away from the top of the wrapper when ripping it to ensure it’s less likely to be scratched. Here again, however, is an object lesson in the importance of bringing more than just one condom to a hookup situation.
- Not Leaving Space at the Tip
One of the most important functions of a condom is catching the wearer’s ejaculate. And while condoms are stretchy, shooting a bunch of liquid into a tiny space very quickly does mean it needs somewhere to go.
“Not everyone realises how important it is to leave space at the tip of the condom,” says Nye. “That little reservoir isn’t just a design detail. It’s there to collect semen after ejaculation and to prevent pressure from building up.”
“If that space isn’t there — for example, if the condom is rolled on without pinching the tip — it increases the likelihood of the condom splitting,” he adds. “This is something that often gets missed, especially if someone hasn’t had clear guidance on how to use a condom properly.”
- Waiting Too Long to Put the Condom On
Because lots of people see the application of the condom as, well, not very sexy, there’s a logic to the idea of waiting until the last possible minute to put it on.
“It’s a common misunderstanding that protection only matters at the point of ejaculation,” says Nye. “But that’s not how it works.”
“If you wait too long to put on the condom before penetration but after pre-ejaculatory fluid is in contact from the penis to a partner, STIs and sperm can be transmitted,” Lynne explains.
“That means a condom needs to be on from the very start of any penetration until the end,” Nye says. “Anything less than that reduces the level of protection.”
Rather than putting off condom application, you can work it into your foreplay, getting your partner to apply it for you or to manually stimulate your penis once it’s on, perhaps with some lube. That way, you can proceed with penetration, or even rubbing your erection against them, without worrying about your pre-cum.
- Storing Them Improperly
Despite their capacity to protect us, condoms also need protection — from the elements.
“Storing in a wallet, pocket, car or any place temperature can get too high or fluctuate” can undermine their structural integrity, says Lynne.
This is tricky because it most likely wouldn’t impact the condoms in a way that would be immediately obvious, but could lead to them breaking or tearing more easily when in use.
Instead, Lynne says, you should store your condoms “in a cool, dry place far from any sharp objects,” and only carry them around directly in advance of a planned use — e.g. grab a few and bring them with you on a date.
- Pairing Them With Oil-Based Lubricants
Whatever your sexuality, lube is an important yet all-too-often overlooked part of your sex life — some people even resort to backwards-thinking lube-shaming.
But while different lube formulations have varying pros and cons to keep track of, one combo that especially should be avoided is oil-based lubes and latex-based condoms, says Lynne.
“Using oil-based lubricants that deteriorate the latex” is a no-no, she explains. “Instead, use water- or silicone-based lubricants like Uberlube, Pjur or Astroglide.”
- Unrolling the Condom on the Penis First
“Another big user error is putting the condom on the tip of the penis, realizing it’s inside out and then flipping it so it will roll down properly,” says Lynne. “Yet now the pre-cum is on the side of the tip of the condom that is going to be in contact with the partner.”
If this happens to you, don’t sweat it — this is why you brought more than one condom. But next time, try unrolling the condom a little before putting it on, so you know you have the right side.
- Reusing a Condom
Bad news for guys who are all about minimizing waste, but condoms are designed to be single-use only… no ifs, ands or buts.
“Seems obvious, but never reuse a condom,” says Lynne. “Reusing is prone to all sorts of fluid leakage.”
- Wearing Two Condoms at Once
OK, this might not be common per se, but just so we’re all on the same page — two condoms at once does not increase your protection, it lessens it.
As Lynne points out, “doubling up causes too much friction from latex to latex and deteriorates the integrity of both of the condoms.”
- Not Having Multiple Condoms on Hand
If you’re going on a date or having someone over, the correct number of condoms to have on hand is: more than one.
Since condoms are so small, they’re easily transportable, and you can keep them in your wallet for short periods of time (such as: for the length of one date) without having to worry about heat damage.
Zero or one condoms are are not ideal options, given 1) condoms’ importance to safer sex sex, 2) you can’t be confident that the other person will definitely have condoms on hand, 3) while condoms are widely accessible, people usually don’t want to take time out of a date or hookup to find the nearest convenience store or pharmacy to grab some and 4) even if you have one condom, having a backup one is important for all the reasons listed above.
(Not to mention if you want to have a second round of sex.)
Do yourself a favor — bring along a few condoms next time you go on a date, or keep a pile within arm’s reach of your bed. You won’t regret it!
